The tutor reflects on an age-old dilemma.

My wife is a great cook. Around running the kids to their activities, she still cooks a full dinner almost every evening. She likes cooking and she’s talented at it.

I know my wife’s food tastes good, but I don’t have a developed palate for food. I wasn’t raised in a home where cooking for taste was a priority. When I was a kid, our meals were nutritious, but generally plain. Of course, we weren’t French, whereas my wife is.

In the years between university and kids, my wife and I ate out a lot. We didn’t have meals at set times. I’d say we didn’t eat three meals per day, but rather just two. Outside of work, we didn’t have a routine. Since we were contractors, life was changeable.

When we first had kids, everything changed, of course. However, it wasn’t until the kids were about two and four that an interesting trend emerged.

When kids start to eat at the table like adults do, mealtimes dominate the day. Kids need to be fed at set times; they can’t really “skip” a meal like an adult can. Moreover, they need the food groups at every meal. An adult can eat a big plate of pasta at 8pm, then a couple of fruits before bed, but that doesn’t seem practical for kids. They need a balanced meal served all at once.

Back then, my wife took care of the business during the day; I tutored in the evening. Therefore, I took care of the kids from the morning through the early afternoon. I fed them breakfast, took them to play activities or preschool, then brought them home and fed them lunch.

I came to realize that, though my wife is the great cook, I made two out of three of the kids’ meals. I didn’t mind, but it seemed ironic. The reason, of course, was that my wife was better suited to our day-business, while I was better suited to being outside with the kids, chasing them down when they might wander off, etc.

In the ensuing years, the pattern grew: I ended up doing things my wife could do better, but didn’t have time to do. Out in the world, she was playing to her strengths, being productive. At home, making meals, etc, I was playing to my weaknesses. Even so, the household was much better off than if I’d been out in the world as well, focusing on career.

Any team – be it a household or whatever – is better off with strong players. In my life as a family man, however, it’s been my willingness to play to my weaknesses when necessary that has really helped.

In education, so many people face a similar situation. They might be a natural nurse, but find it very hard to pass the biology requirement. They might be a gifted mechanic, but the math prerequisite is very difficult for them. To move forward, those students need to play to their weaknesses. When they enter their chosen careers, they can play to their strengths; from then, their lives will likely be much easier.

Playing to your weakness is always hard. My degree is in math, not parenting. Taking care of my kids during their preschool years was much more challenging than working for pay. However, I enjoyed it and would do it again:)

Jack of Oracle Tutoring by Jack and Diane, Campbell River, BC.