People skills: passive aggression, part 0

Self-tutoring about social interactions: the tutor begins about passive aggression.

Sometime back in the 90s, every time someone said something someone else didn’t want to hear, it came to be called “yelling.” I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard someone say someone was “yelling” at them when actually the person was talking at normal volume.

People realized, therefore, that when they have a complaint, saying so is counterproductive. Instead, it’s better not to say anything, but quietly edit the source of the problem from the situation.

“Passive” is one reason passive aggression has such purchase in our society: people believe that “passive” means “blameless.” It’s the idea that “If they don’t do anything at all, they can’t be doing anything wrong.” While passive aggression isn’t a particularly flattering look on most people, many have found it their only way to counter indifference and/or disrespect.

The motivation towards passive aggression is the same as that for rearranging deck furniture on a sinking ship:)

Jack of Oracle Tutoring by Jack and Diane, Campbell River, BC.