Retrospect, holidays: the Valentine’s lesson? (part 1)

Self-tutoring about people and events from the past: the tutor reflects about Valentine’s Day and its lead-up.

I recall, in elementary school, Valentine’s Day was fun. We often would have a Valentine’s Day party in class. People would bring treats from home, and they were put on a table in the classroom like a buffet. Unfailingly, someone’s parent would make Valentine’s cupcakes, with pink icing.

The classroom, in such cases, was pre-decorated for the party with Valentine’s Day crafts we had been making, every few days, since the end of January. I was never particularly good at making those crafts, but some kids really were. However, in amongst a couple dozen crafts of the same kind, one’s own can take on a supporting role, as mine did.

Back then, I couldn’t have explained why Valentine’s season was fun. I suspect, now, the reason: it was (or seemed to be) novelty with no pressure. We made a few crafts – during class time – then had a party in the red, pink and white decorated classroom. The decorations would expire the next day.

Later in life, I realize that, for some people, Valentine’s Day remains a fun holiday, but for others it’s tactical. Some people hope that picking the right gift, or planning the right dinner, will impress a perspective partner that they’re “the one.”

Yet, sometimes I wonder if those Valentine’s crafts carried lessons more significant than many suspected at the time, myself included. For instance, would understanding how to make an appealing Valentine’s craft translate, later in life, to understanding how to be an attractive person?

Perhaps there was pressure behind those Valentine’s crafts, after all – pressure to figure out how to make one’s own craft one of the attractive, noticeable ones. Perhaps those who felt that pressure, and responded to it successfully, would succeed in life and love in adulthood. Some were more talented than others, but it probably was within almost everyone’s reach, in grade 3. Year by year, however, for those who missed the subtext, it would likely become more and more difficult to catch up.

Following that train of thought, the adults who are trying hard to make everything perfect tonight, to impress a potential mate, are likely those whose crafts went unnoticed back in elementary school. Conversely, the people being wooed are those whose crafts were appealing and neat.

Source:

Weiten, W (1992). Psychology: Themes and Variations. Wadsworth, Inc.